Why online dating is the worst...

Warning: There is a lewd point in this blog. You have been warned.

So, online dating. It's a thing, you know? I've been on and off online dating for almost 2 years now. I absolutely dislike it, but I still do it. It's like a weird addiction. 

Now don't get me wrong, I may dislike it, but I've actually met a few really good guy friends from dating sites. That aside, I've also met some losers. Some so desperate, they honestly shouldn't be on a dating site. I've used eharmony, match, plenty of fish, tinder, and okcupid (currently this is the only one I use). 

So, the first "date" I ever went on, we met at Courier Cafe. This guy seemed okay. He had gone to school for photography and so we had a love for photography in common. 

We meet. We sit down and start chatting about random subjects. He's so nervous that he just babbles and babbles about himself (how good he is at photography, he made it seem like he was the god of photography, which annoyed me) and about something else science related. I really don't remember much, I left the conversation at some point. I hardly do that to people, but this guy was hitting all the wrong buttons. It looked like I was paying attention, but I really wasn't. 

Finally the torture ends and we go to pay the bill. I knew that I'd pay for my own food since he didn't currently have a job. He had eaten fries and when he pulled money out to pay for them, he pulled out quarters, nickels, and dimes. At this point, I felt embarrassed by his nickel and diming and just paid for everything. When we got outside, we chatted for a moment and he said he was really comfortable around me and I knew that would happen because it happens a lot to me. He wanted to hug me, but I refused. I'd never been so happy to get in my car. 

I'm not going to bore you with all my bad dates. Let's change subject. Guys usually start off their chats with me by sending, "you're hot", "you are beautiful", etc. First of all, this is nice, guys. Don't get me wrong, but I need more context than that. I don't want you to be like every other guy who messages me, it bores me. It's not original. That might make me a bitch, but no one is perfect. 

Second, once I finally think it's okay for you to email me or even text me, you guys go and ruin it! How? I'll tell you how. Lewdness in 3...2..1.

The dick pic. Yes, I said it. What in the world makes you think I want to see your dick? I don't. Not yet anyway, if ever. I know what you're trying to do, so just go fuck yourself and leave me out. Thanks! 

Last point I feel like making is that when things seem to be going well, you just disappear with no explanation. I understand why you do it, I've asked my guy friends, but it irks me so much. I'm not afraid of you telling me you don't want to talk anymore. I'm not going to beg you to stay. Put on some fucking big girl panties and just tell the damn truth. 

That's all, folks. Happy Friday! 

~Melissa

P.S. I'm not saying you can't find someone online, there are people who have. I'm just having no luck. I'm better off meeting people in real life. I do go out and do stuff a lot more than I used to. Here's to hoping. :)