The hiatus is over or is it?

I haven't posted a blog in almost 2 years. A lot of things have factored into that.

Do you remember my post about Meetup.com? The group where I got to meet new friends and go out and do fun things. I'm still a part of that. It's been a little over 2 years since I joined the 20s and 30s group and it's helped me make so many friends. Some of them I only get to know for a short time as our city is a fairly transient place with the university being a big part of that. People are students and graduate or they work there and eventually move on. I even help run a women's group that branched off from the main group. Sometimes girls just want to have fun. Hahaha...

I also am a part of Makerspace Urbana and it's really cool. I can learn new skills, get to know some interesting people, or teach people things that I know. I've actually taught several workshops on jewelry and crafts.

Last year there were a couple of significant events. My favorite cousin got married and I was in the wedding party. Plus I got to visit my second home (California). Here are some of my favorite photos.

The other event was that I met a wonderful man named Skyler. I swear he is the man I've been looking for my entire life and we finally found each other.

Just a little update from little ole' me.

Love Always,

Melissa

Why online dating is the worst...

Warning: There is a lewd point in this blog. You have been warned.

So, online dating. It's a thing, you know? I've been on and off online dating for almost 2 years now. I absolutely dislike it, but I still do it. It's like a weird addiction. 

Now don't get me wrong, I may dislike it, but I've actually met a few really good guy friends from dating sites. That aside, I've also met some losers. Some so desperate, they honestly shouldn't be on a dating site. I've used eharmony, match, plenty of fish, tinder, and okcupid (currently this is the only one I use). 

So, the first "date" I ever went on, we met at Courier Cafe. This guy seemed okay. He had gone to school for photography and so we had a love for photography in common. 

We meet. We sit down and start chatting about random subjects. He's so nervous that he just babbles and babbles about himself (how good he is at photography, he made it seem like he was the god of photography, which annoyed me) and about something else science related. I really don't remember much, I left the conversation at some point. I hardly do that to people, but this guy was hitting all the wrong buttons. It looked like I was paying attention, but I really wasn't. 

Finally the torture ends and we go to pay the bill. I knew that I'd pay for my own food since he didn't currently have a job. He had eaten fries and when he pulled money out to pay for them, he pulled out quarters, nickels, and dimes. At this point, I felt embarrassed by his nickel and diming and just paid for everything. When we got outside, we chatted for a moment and he said he was really comfortable around me and I knew that would happen because it happens a lot to me. He wanted to hug me, but I refused. I'd never been so happy to get in my car. 

I'm not going to bore you with all my bad dates. Let's change subject. Guys usually start off their chats with me by sending, "you're hot", "you are beautiful", etc. First of all, this is nice, guys. Don't get me wrong, but I need more context than that. I don't want you to be like every other guy who messages me, it bores me. It's not original. That might make me a bitch, but no one is perfect. 

Second, once I finally think it's okay for you to email me or even text me, you guys go and ruin it! How? I'll tell you how. Lewdness in 3...2..1.

The dick pic. Yes, I said it. What in the world makes you think I want to see your dick? I don't. Not yet anyway, if ever. I know what you're trying to do, so just go fuck yourself and leave me out. Thanks! 

Last point I feel like making is that when things seem to be going well, you just disappear with no explanation. I understand why you do it, I've asked my guy friends, but it irks me so much. I'm not afraid of you telling me you don't want to talk anymore. I'm not going to beg you to stay. Put on some fucking big girl panties and just tell the damn truth. 

That's all, folks. Happy Friday! 

~Melissa

P.S. I'm not saying you can't find someone online, there are people who have. I'm just having no luck. I'm better off meeting people in real life. I do go out and do stuff a lot more than I used to. Here's to hoping. :)

The Road Less Traveled

First, I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I was purposely keeping myself busy. Now that things have slowed down, I have a little time to write.

Today's blog title, "The Road Less Traveled" is about how you live your life. There are so many instances, especially in the last few months I could have taken the "easy road". 

The 3 things I'm going to talk about in this post are love, friendship, and life decisions. 

One: Love

As most of you know, I divorced over a year ago. It was completely mutual and very civil. I've been on the single and dating market for a little while now. I'm currently still single, but in a somewhat relationship, but not in a relationship at all. Most of you would probably think it's weird for me to do that and why would I do that? 

The answer: I see things through and I think I should see this through to the end or to the beginning regardless of what it is. I know I could have actually been in a relationship with a few of the guys I went on dates with in the last year, but I think I'd honestly be miserable because I'd be lying to myself and them. 

Aren't you afraid you're going to get hurt?

Answer: Of course, who isn't afraid of such a thing. You'll never have an adventure if you're afraid of everything. 

Two: Friendship

My very best friends live far away from me. Even the closest one lives an hour away. The others all in different states. I see it as a test of my willingness to keep in touch and for them to keep in touch. Yes, I am lonely a lot now because they all live away from me. 

Don't ever let the people you care about go a day without them knowing how you feel. 

Third: Life Decisions

Yes, life sucks sometimes and sometimes you, yourself can "suck at life". We all have these moments. You just have to shake it off and try not to suck so much. LOL...

Honestly though, perhaps I thought I'd be somewhere else in life right now. I thought maybe I'd have my bachelors, a husband, 1 or 2 kids, pets, a house. HAHAHA....no....my decisions have altered that silly dream. 

I'm still in school, but determined to get a bachelors. I work full time. I live alone in an apartment. I have a dog. I'm divorced and single. I don't have children, although I think 80% of my Facebook friends do. I might never have children and that's okay. It's not something I have to do, but I wouldn't mind it. I love to travel and maybe I'll do that instead. Who knows....you really don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, so live! Live without regret and maybe take a few side roads on the way. ;-)

Love Always, 

Melissa

Snowpocalypse

I've stayed in all day today as a result of the winter storm that everyone has been raving about. Yesterday the stores were busy as hell and today/last night many of the produce shelves were very bare. A couple friends on Facebook posted photos. Since I live alone, I didn't need much and so I just got some frozen stuff and a little bit of fruit and stuff.

I'm currently bored out of my mind and don't want to read a book or do at home things. I want human interaction, but I don't know anyone in my complex and so that's a bust. I could chat with people on Facebook or Skype, but apparently no one wants to Skype. Why do I always have to suggest these things? I hate being the one always doing the asking. It's annoying as hell to realize that people care more about themselves than other people. I care about people so much sometimes it hurts because I don't feel that they care as much as I do.

My personality causes me to care for people extremely too much, embrace them for who they are, and trust them even when they leave me no reason to trust them anymore. I know how evil the world is, but I still try to see the light in everyone. Haha, that was kind of Buddhist of me.

All I want this year is to be happier than I was last year. Perhaps this year I'll find someone to kiss my forehead, snuggle me, and love me for who I am. I'll succeed in school (even if it is only 2 classes a semester). I want to travel a little more, even if it's just to surrounding states for a day or two OR even in state. I don't want to feel like I'm alone anymore. I know you don't need someone to be with you to not feel alone (someone can be with you and you feel completely and utterly alone). I know all too well. I'm turning 30 this year, I want my life to be different, I want some of you to go on that journey with me. Will you?

Love Always,

Melissa

A Drop in the Ocean

I have to laugh because if I don't laugh at the stupid stuff, I think I'll just burst. Work is trying my patience today and so I laugh because it's my coping mechanism.

I know I'm not doing things the way any of you would. I know there are situations in my life right now that some of you wonder why I bother. I know that the situations are a bit off kilter and odd, but every situation I put myself in is for me to learn or I wouldn't do it. 

Yes, I am putting myself in situations where heartache could be a huge factor and that's okay. It's okay to feel that way because if we, as humans, weren't supposed to feel that way, then we wouldn't. Every person I have met in the last 6 months have been interesting and I learned a little from each one. I still retain some of them as friends. 

My intuition is hardly wrong, so for now, this is how it must be. 

We are not without humility, nor without pain. 

Love Always, 

Melissa