Snowpocalypse

I've stayed in all day today as a result of the winter storm that everyone has been raving about. Yesterday the stores were busy as hell and today/last night many of the produce shelves were very bare. A couple friends on Facebook posted photos. Since I live alone, I didn't need much and so I just got some frozen stuff and a little bit of fruit and stuff.

I'm currently bored out of my mind and don't want to read a book or do at home things. I want human interaction, but I don't know anyone in my complex and so that's a bust. I could chat with people on Facebook or Skype, but apparently no one wants to Skype. Why do I always have to suggest these things? I hate being the one always doing the asking. It's annoying as hell to realize that people care more about themselves than other people. I care about people so much sometimes it hurts because I don't feel that they care as much as I do.

My personality causes me to care for people extremely too much, embrace them for who they are, and trust them even when they leave me no reason to trust them anymore. I know how evil the world is, but I still try to see the light in everyone. Haha, that was kind of Buddhist of me.

All I want this year is to be happier than I was last year. Perhaps this year I'll find someone to kiss my forehead, snuggle me, and love me for who I am. I'll succeed in school (even if it is only 2 classes a semester). I want to travel a little more, even if it's just to surrounding states for a day or two OR even in state. I don't want to feel like I'm alone anymore. I know you don't need someone to be with you to not feel alone (someone can be with you and you feel completely and utterly alone). I know all too well. I'm turning 30 this year, I want my life to be different, I want some of you to go on that journey with me. Will you?

Love Always,

Melissa

Me in a nutshell...

Careful steps I take

In this maze of a life

Never knowing

If it all ends tonight

All I can be 

Is what I give 

And what you see

Irrevocable certainty

As I stand here

I wonder

Is this really real?

Is this who I am?

I feel so undone

It tears me up inside

Look me in the eyes 

And tell me...

This isn't the end

You've got a long way

I'll hold your hand

And guide you through

Tonight, We are young...

Alright, so I decided to watch my first Christmas movie today. Lol...it was a late nineties one with JTT, even had a N'SYNC Christmas song in the credits. I don't know if I watched it because it snowed today, but it was cheesy, cute, and ridiculous.

Although, I am not decorating for Christmas because no one is coming over anyway. I'm also not really buying presents. I don't really care about presents (although, they are nice), but I like being able to be with family and friends instead.

I had a close friend suggest something interesting to me last night. I can't write it here right now because this blog is not private and could be read by anyone. It would be something different, a little life altering and perhaps a little scary at first, but it could be something really good for me. It seems I need to get things in order and see if I can do this.

Other than that, I am trudging along as best I can.

Whether or not this decision will better my life is yet to be answered. 

Love Always,

Melissa

To the stars, we will return

Today is going to be a very busy day at work. Job security. :-)

Anyway, I have a final tonight and so I hope I do okay. I've never really been good at tests. 

I didn't do much yesterday after work. I chatted with a couple of my best friends on the phone and cooked dinner for the week.   

Then, I wrote a couple letters to some  friends and I forgot how much I love to write. Writing is my stress output and that's why I began blogging again. 

Everything I write here will not always be earth shattering, but it's me. Truly.

Love Always,

Melissa