Snowpocalypse

I've stayed in all day today as a result of the winter storm that everyone has been raving about. Yesterday the stores were busy as hell and today/last night many of the produce shelves were very bare. A couple friends on Facebook posted photos. Since I live alone, I didn't need much and so I just got some frozen stuff and a little bit of fruit and stuff.

I'm currently bored out of my mind and don't want to read a book or do at home things. I want human interaction, but I don't know anyone in my complex and so that's a bust. I could chat with people on Facebook or Skype, but apparently no one wants to Skype. Why do I always have to suggest these things? I hate being the one always doing the asking. It's annoying as hell to realize that people care more about themselves than other people. I care about people so much sometimes it hurts because I don't feel that they care as much as I do.

My personality causes me to care for people extremely too much, embrace them for who they are, and trust them even when they leave me no reason to trust them anymore. I know how evil the world is, but I still try to see the light in everyone. Haha, that was kind of Buddhist of me.

All I want this year is to be happier than I was last year. Perhaps this year I'll find someone to kiss my forehead, snuggle me, and love me for who I am. I'll succeed in school (even if it is only 2 classes a semester). I want to travel a little more, even if it's just to surrounding states for a day or two OR even in state. I don't want to feel like I'm alone anymore. I know you don't need someone to be with you to not feel alone (someone can be with you and you feel completely and utterly alone). I know all too well. I'm turning 30 this year, I want my life to be different, I want some of you to go on that journey with me. Will you?

Love Always,

Melissa

Tonight, We are young...

Alright, so I decided to watch my first Christmas movie today. Lol...it was a late nineties one with JTT, even had a N'SYNC Christmas song in the credits. I don't know if I watched it because it snowed today, but it was cheesy, cute, and ridiculous.

Although, I am not decorating for Christmas because no one is coming over anyway. I'm also not really buying presents. I don't really care about presents (although, they are nice), but I like being able to be with family and friends instead.

I had a close friend suggest something interesting to me last night. I can't write it here right now because this blog is not private and could be read by anyone. It would be something different, a little life altering and perhaps a little scary at first, but it could be something really good for me. It seems I need to get things in order and see if I can do this.

Other than that, I am trudging along as best I can.

Whether or not this decision will better my life is yet to be answered. 

Love Always,

Melissa

A Drop in the Ocean

I have to laugh because if I don't laugh at the stupid stuff, I think I'll just burst. Work is trying my patience today and so I laugh because it's my coping mechanism.

I know I'm not doing things the way any of you would. I know there are situations in my life right now that some of you wonder why I bother. I know that the situations are a bit off kilter and odd, but every situation I put myself in is for me to learn or I wouldn't do it. 

Yes, I am putting myself in situations where heartache could be a huge factor and that's okay. It's okay to feel that way because if we, as humans, weren't supposed to feel that way, then we wouldn't. Every person I have met in the last 6 months have been interesting and I learned a little from each one. I still retain some of them as friends. 

My intuition is hardly wrong, so for now, this is how it must be. 

We are not without humility, nor without pain. 

Love Always, 

Melissa